CLOUD 9

Eto na naman ako, nakatunganga sa PC, nag-iisip kung ano ang gagawin. Bukas New Year’s Eve na pero di ko pa rin lubos maisip na patapos na ang taong ito. Uhmm ayoko munang mag-senti kaya susulat nalang ako tungkol sa Pambansang Chikboy ng Bansa este bayani… bayani pala. Araw nya kasi ngayon. Sa pagkakaalam ko, ngayong petsa daw siya binaril ng mga kastila sa Luneta (December 30). Pero wag kayong agad maniwala sa’kin, baka mapahiya lang kayo pag-ikukwento nyo yan sa barkada nyo.

Kilala nyo naman siguro si Gat Jose Rizal. Hindi? Si Dr. José Protasio Rizal Mercado y Alonso Realonda nalang, kilala nyo na? game. Imposible naman ata kung di nyo to kilala, eh mula grade 1 pa ata ay bestfriend Johnny na siya ng mga Filipino subjects na guro. nagkaroon pa nga siya ng sarili nyang subject (Rizal and his writings) pagdating sa kolehiyo. Siya yung may pakana sa mga librong Noli Me Tangere at El FIlibusterismo at pati na rin Palibhasa Lalake. Nakakatuwang isipin na hanggang ngayon, kabisado pa rin lahat ng tao o halos lahat si Pepe. Dito ako saludo sa mga guro natin, epektib talaga ang pagturo nila tungkol sa kanya.

Kaninang umaga, nagkaroon ng maikling seremonya sa plaza namin, pagbibigay pugay nga sa ating dakilang Pepe. Hindi ako mahilig pumupunta sa mga ganyang aktibidades pero napasubo eh, iche-check ang attendance. Marami na ang mga tao pagdating ko dun. Mga empleyado sa gobyerno, mga opisyales, at mga boy scouts na tila gusto pang bumalik sa kama at managinip. Ang naging problema ko eh di ko makita mga kasamahan ko, ayoko rin namang magtanong at baka isipin nilang bobo ako sa direksyon kahit totoo. Kaya naki-jampak nalang ako sa ibang opisina. Mga 10 minutes lang yung seremonya pagkatapos nun, may isang intermission number ang brass band sa isa sa mga paaralan dito. Sakto sakto ang timing ng kanta nila, its raining men at talagang umaambon. Di ko alam kung matutuwa ba ako o maawa sa sumasayaw na mga dalagita. Sayaw sila ng sayaw samantalang ang panahon naman ay sumasabay sa kanta. Pagkatapos nun, bumalik na sa kani-kanilang opisina ang mga empleyado. Maikli pero maayos. Sapat na yun, kahit busy ang mga schedule ng mga tao, nabibigyan pa rin ng importansya ang mga bayani natin na naging inspirasyon ng karamihan lalo na sa mga chikboys.

Mabuhay ka Jose Rizal! Break it down.

“Tangkilikin ang sariling atin.” Sabi ng mga kaibigan ko, isa daw akong malaking Inglesera kaya di ako marunong mag-tagalegs. Kaya eto na, kahit bakekaw, sumusulat ako ng isang blog na sa pinaka-unang beses ay tagalog. Wala rin kasi akong magawa dito sa bahay.

Ni minsan sa buhay ko, dehins ko naisip na magtatagalog ako ngayon. Tubong Bukidnon kasi ako, ibig sabihin, Bisdak ako o Bisayang Dako at tsaka kinda English-speaking kami sa bahay (naks!) Pero siguro na rin sa impluwensya ng sinuskwela, home along da riles at mga Filipino subjects ko noon sa elementarya, napagtu-unan ko na rin ng pansin ang pagtatagalog. Kaya eto ako ngayon, sumusulat nito at kahit wala pa ring kwenta ang blog na ito, itutuloy ko pa rin. May palabra de honor ata ako.

3rd paragraph na ai teka teka, erase este bura bura bura. Nasa ika-tatlong talata na ako at nag-iisip pa rin kung ano pa ang isusulat ko. Ahhhhh ito nalang, dahil malapit na matapos ang 2010, ikwekwento ko na lang ang magaganda at di masyadong maganda na nangyari sa buhay ko ngayong taon.

Syempre uunahin ko yung masasaya o magandang nangyari kaya eto na, huwag ka ng huminga (biro lang):

Una, pagpasa ko sa isang pagsusulit patungong kaginhawaan. Siguro kung nagtratrabaho ka sa gobyerno na katulad ko, lulundag ka sa saya, pati si erpats, kung malaman mong nakapasa ka. Alam mo na ata ang tinutukoy ko, ang Civil Service Exam (wag nyo na akong pilitin, di ko kayang tagalugin yan). Para sa’kin, ang pagsusulit na yun ang pinakamatindi! Mga ilang buwan din akong nasa bahay lang at mga libro lang ang kausap. At eto pa, nagkita ulit kami ng mortal kong kaaway, si Mamang Mathematics. Alam ng lahat ng kakilala ko na ayoko talaga ng mga numero. Napapamura ako sa tuwing di ko masolb ang isang equation (kahit limang beses ko na nakita ang sagot..shit!). Kung tatanungin nyo naman kung panu ko pinasa yung math subjects ko noong araw, nagpapasalamat ako sa mga kaibigan ko (nagpa-tutor ako sa kanila, di ko magagawa yang iniisip mo!). Kaya eto ang masabi ko sa gustong pumasa, mag-review ka lang ng magreview sabay kinig ng unchained melody.

Pangalawa, pagiging guro. Nasabi ko na to sa nakaraang blog ko, ayos ang maging guro. Pakiramdam ko bata ulit ako. Kahit pumayat ako ng konti, ayos pa rin, mababait naman mga estudyante at hindi nangangagat.

Pangatlo, pagkaroon ng sariling kompyuter. Isa talaga sa mga pangarap ko nung bata pa ako na magkaroon ng PC. Cool daw kasi. Kaya nung nagkatrabaho ko, bukod sa pagtulong sa pag-papa-aral sa mga kapatid ko, naging priyo..preyo…priority ko ang pagbili ng PC! Kaya malaya ako ngayong nagsusurf sa net at sumusulat nito na walang nagsasabing “ station 4, extend ka?”

Pang-apat, pagpunta sa Sinulog. Masaya ako nung nakita ko ang ibat-ibang klaseng Sto. Nino na pinaparada. Bunga siguro to sa pagpa-aral ng mga magulang namin sa mga katolikong paaralan kaya napapa-wow ako sa mga santo. Nakipag-kodakan pa nga ako sa Sto. Nino na nakasalamin, kabarkada ko kasi, studious.. Nerd.

Panglima, paglalakbay o pag-gala. Ewan ko kung tama ba ang pagkabaybay bsta yung parang traveler(naks!). Hilig kong pumunta sa ibat-ibang lugar at makisalamuha sa mga tao (jamming ba). Sabi nga ng Kuya ko, mamamatay daw ako pag hindi ako makapunta sa ibang lugar sa isang buwan . Pero mali si Kuya, mas mamamatay ako kung wala ng tinapay sa mundo!

Tama na sa mga masasaya, sa di naman masyadong masaya…..akin na lang yun, uzi kayo masyado. Pero sa mga bumasa nito, Manigong Bagong Taon sa inyo! Respeto at pagmamahal para sa lahat! Apir!

On December 14 2010, majority of the people in the nation sympathized to Lauro Vizconde while others leaped for joy as the Supreme Court acquitted Hubert Webb and his co-accused for the murder of Estrellita, Jennifer, and Carmela Vizconde (who was raped before stabbed to death) in their Paranaque Home back in June 30, 1991.
Confused. The massacre which spurred the media’s attention took place in 1991 and I was still a lil’ girl that time (3 years old to be exact and all I cared was playing with my dolls and pretty much didn’t give a damn about the rest). But still, the whole SC decision sparked my interest do some more reading (duh, it is one of the most gruesome massacres in the Philippine history). The point is, watching and hearing the news just made me confused on which side I should be. For sure, I’m one of those people who sympathizes the lost of Mang Lauro but on the other side, thinking of the 15 years that were stolen from those men (if they really are innocent) was pretty much unfair too.

Blindfolded. Whenever I see that statue of justice (or whatever you call that thing), I wondered why that lady is blindfolded. Then someone told me that the blindfolding part tells us that in order for justice to be served, siding is a big no-no. Hence, people who bring justice should only look or focus on facts. But the way I see things, justice wasn’t really served on both sides. Worst is that the whole stuff made the people blindfolded from the real thing. I mean, the acquittal of those men brought a lot and I mean a lot of questions to the table like, if Webb and his co-accused are really innocent, who then are the real perpetrators? Where is Jessica Alfaro? (the star witness of the crime), Where’s the maid who did the laundry of Webb’s blood-stained shirt on the night the crime happened? Can justice really be served in this country? Is Alfaro’s testimony really true or was it just one of the results of drugs? These questions can be a basis on how inconsistent our justice system is and it’s sad to know that the SC decision made the public think that the justice system in the country is whack.


Bottom line is, things must be cleared up. I mean, it is DIFFICULT and considering the new set of things that the whole system could face (e.g. double jeopardy) but then again, a reinvestigation of the case will be helpful. This could clear up the system’s image and will surely give peace of mind to both sides (accused and accuser) instead of being confused and blinded from the truth for the rest of their lives. Think about it.

I forgive the girl I was, not because I want to become a saint but because I do not want to endure this hatred, this tiresome hatred.

The tears I shed, I forgive.
The suffering and disappointments, I forgive.
The betrayals and lies, I forgive.
The slandering and scheming, I forgive.
The hatred and persecution, I forgive.
The shattered dreams, I forgive.
The dead hopes, I forgive.
The disaffection and jealousy, I forgive.
The indifference and ill will, I forgive.
The injustice in the name of justice, I forgive.
The anger and mistreatment, I forgive.
The neglect and oblivion, I forgive.
The world with all its evil, I forgive.

Grief and resentment, I replace with understanding and agreement.
Revolt, I replace with music that comes from my violin.
Pain I replace with oblivion.
Revenge, I replace with victory.

I will be able to love above all discontentment.
To give even when I am stripped of everything.
To work happily even when I find myself in the midst of all obstacles.
To dry tears even when I am still crying.
To believe even when I am discredited.

She opens her eyes, puts her hands on my head and says with an authority that comes from above:

- Thy will be done. Thy will be done.

hello life :)

Ok I think majority of my friends knows that I'm a granny's girl.

Though she's a bit strict and all, she still and always has been one of my inspirations.She's caring, loving, shares wisdom and best of all, she never stops encouraging me to learn how to cook (evil smirk). FYI, She's a great cook and that leaves the idea of some of us having plus size or horizantally enhanced bodies. haha. Now as I've mentioned from one of my blogs (Delaying Gratification), I had this problem in achieving something. The thing is my lola (Filipino term for grandmother) kept on saying that I shouldn't stop, I should pray I should work harder for it. I followed her advice and somehow, it worked.

When I told her the news, she was all so happy and I guess proud of her granddaughter. The best part is she bought ice cream for the whole gang. EVERYBODY screams for ice cream. haha.. That double dutch-flavored dessert was so good but seeing her smile as I told her the result was the most heartwarming part, the feeling was more fulfilling than passing the CSE.

Thank yu to those who prayed for me, it was a huge help and thank yu Lola Luming for the ayskrim. :) <3

"When I grow up, I want to be a teacher"... Those were the words I uttered on my kindergarten graduation. 15 years later, my genie, I suppose, granted my wish.

You see aside from being a public servant in our place, I got hired as a part-time college instructor. So after my work at the city government, I immediately proceed to the university where i teach. The thing is I never really thought, even for a second, that my dream as a little girl would come true. The weird part is I did my kindergarten years at the same school where I teach. It was Bukidnon State College back then but now, the word college was changed to university..Hence, Bukidnon State University.

The feeling.
Indescribable.. honestly, I still get kulba-kulba my heart/ nervous. haha especially on my first day of meeting with the students. it was different knowing that you're the mentor now. It was better when I was still a student because I get to decide if I would go to school or not. Or better yet, I get to decide if I want to sleep in the class or not. haha but now, I cant do that. Kung sa binsaya pa, ako gabangka sa storya (haha). So the feeling is just different.

The "they calling me "maám" part
Honestly, I was surprised. I really am still adjusting with the students pairing my name with that word. haha must be because Í wasn't used to it. I was always called Tina or Kristina. Now that I'm an instructor, the "maám" word just pops out.I guess it's a mandate from the students to call their female teacher that way (haha). It's cool, I'm down with that.


Dili lalim ang mahimong maestra.
Why? because you have to make sure that your students understand the lessons. aside from that, you get to deal with students with different personalities. However, I like it. It's challenging.:D

3 weeks of being with the learners.
So far so good. Though I wont deny that it''s tiring especially when you already got used to sleeping at 8 PM. now, I get to sleep at 1 AM.

TGIF or Thank GOD It's Friday. Now I never really valued that acronym until now. Friday is such a dear to me these past weeks. haha. Further, Saturdays and Sundays are just oh so nice. hahaha..The point is, I don't get much sleep or rest during weekdays because I prepare the lessons for my students to fully understand each topic. As the girl scout motto would say, Be Always Prepared. haha waaa. ><


Though the new job is breath taking (literally and figuratively), I still find it grand to be given this opportunity

Class dismissed. :)

Time check, it is now 12:38 AM and still, no feeling of hitting the sack soon.

The truth is I really don't know why Im having this sleeping disorder. i tried counting sheep, counting backwards and even drank for like 3 glasses of milk (now my tummy's feeling all queasy). so to make me jump off to bed, il try to blog the the things that have been wandering in my mind today.

New challenge. Last June 14, i found out that I got hired as a part-time instructor in one of the prestigious schools in my place (Bukidnon State Universtity). its fun dealing with the college students and sharing the theoretical knowledge that i gained when i, myself, was still in college. the funny thing is i never realized the importance of keeping my notes until now. like duh, tina 0_o. but the teaching part is cool, im still getting used to it but so far, i like it.

The 3rd installment in the famous Twilight Saga. im a film buff, i watch a lot of movies whether it's a good one or the opposite. eclipse, the premiere night was on June 30, and I was just oh so excited to watch the movie. I read the books and earnestly watched the first two movies with a never ending awe. But the third one, i gotta say, is not that cool compared to the first two. hey, no offense to the twilight fans out there. i like the love triangle going on even though im a certified part of the team cullen. haha now why i do i don't feel so hyped with eclipse? maybe it's because i only watched it online. haha free viewing :)

Missing lp_1021. i miss him... pretty much. i get to see him next month though so joy oh joy. :)


Things to do later. hah! it's 1:30 already and im finishing this blog to close my eyes, whether i like it or not. i need to re-energize myself( kung sa cellphone pa, kelangan ng i-charge).

Good mornite :)

i want to play lawn tennis, i want to learn guitar tabs, i want to go back in playing piano, i want to hug him, i want to soak myself under the sun, i want to read more often, i want to be near to him, i want to go to school again, i want to have that sharapova body (LMAO), i want to pass that exam, i want my family to be happy..you probably would not believe it but i've been trying to do those things since i graduated college. unfortunately, not even a single want has been satisfied.


i kept on thinking on what could probably hinder me from doing what i want. i try to think of the factors that led me to this paralysis. every night when i go to sleep i would just look at the ceiling and think of what would have happen if i did i want to do. if i followed my heart's desires... probably i would not feel this way..

whew.. pondering about these wants bugs me already. but, i will make things right.. i will try do these things again not because it's a must but because i want to. :)

it all started with a cute but lonesome sound that i and my sisters heard when we were playing on the beach,i could barely remember it was our mother's office christmas party.

after minutes of still hearing it, we decided to check it out. and there it was, the cutest thing i ever seen in my whole life.. a puppy. there was a puppy sale going on that day and sadly, that cute one was the only one left and i guess people put less interest on him. i, on the other hand, just adored him. so what i did was i convinced my sisters to plead on our mum just for to buy the puppy.. haha hey, i was still 11 that time (hence, no money). nyahaha luckily, our mum was convinced...

i remember how we would feed him, get rid of his poo, bathe him, chase him....i even taught him to do the handshake! he was the only dog that made me felt that i have a responsibility... for 11 years, he was my trusted bodyguard, my playmate..and my bestfriend..and i miss him..i miss my pooch :( thank yu mokong, yu were really a one of a kind friend.. yu will forever be in my heart buddy...

last weekend, my 7 year old nephew texted me and asked if we can talk on facebook (a social networking website). a bit surprised and shocked, i opened my FB and there, he sent a PM (personal message). it was pretty funny, we talked for like 30 minutes and he asked me to help him with his game on the site.. haha whew digital age .0_o


chinese garter, skipping rope, patentero, riskate, sungka.. if we will talk about the games i used to play when i was a kid, we could go on and on for a day..it was very fun and very weight shedding games compared to the games being played now a days.. im not saying that the games today are not fun but its just not the same before.. whew i feel like an old lady.. haha...

now, kids are more to online games. PSPs, dota, farmville and all that.. when i was 7, Microsoft Word was the only program i know.. haha... i just think that kids should be more inclined with outdoor games so that they wont be that introvert, they could mingle with kids personally; they will be developed psychologically. :) think about it.

i feel like this happened before. the sobbing of my love ones, the empty room and table during lunch, the closed window shields...



just this lunch, i found out that my grandmother was admitted again to the hospital.. a sudden chill in my spine came up as my father gave me the news. it was like a flashback when i was still in high school and i found out that my grandfather was having a colon cancer. the feeling sucks. you see my grandmama has diabetes. whats worst is her left foot was amputated due to the bacteria.first it was only her pinky toe, ow the doctors cut off her whole left foot. its painful for my part to see her suffer. its an agony.

i just feel so devastated right now. Pls. Lord, let the pain go away. pls. help my Lola..

This is such a late post. haha.. Anyhow, here’s a bit of information on what happened on my 22nd bday and how it turned out to be a special one.

Every year, we anticipate or we look forward to one special day. Some call this her day or his day or your day. Hmm let’s just cut to the chase, shall we? we wait for for our birthdays to come. The funny thing is whenever I greet people on their bday, i get bewildered by their different reactions. For instance, when a board mate of mine back in college turned 20,I greeted her with all smiles but she wept because she reminded me that she’s not a “ teenager “ anymore. Another was my padmate; she jumped for joy knowing that she’s of legal age already. I don’t know why but maybe because she being 18 means she could get married or get into clubs perhaps? various emotions buts its kinda different on my 22nd bday. You see, I got used to the my bday pattern back in college but now that Im working and Im back in my hometown, the feeling is different. A smell of maturity I guess…

Waking up with greetings and hugs and having breakfast with my family. Not that im not used to it but its just because back in college, I never really got to experience that anymore. Yes, they called m but I guess it was the fact that I saw them greeting me on my day. Ok yun… a sense of belongingness.. I belong.. haha..

A sweet gift from my man. I really thought that he slept already but then he called at midnight then the next day, I found out that he did pretty silly but totally sweet on FB. he tagged me on a photo with him holding a cake with a “happy birthday tina and the 3 sweet words sign at the back”. it was cute, pretty slick. Mas ok sana yun kung may mga tinapay… hahahhaaha….

Receiving greetings via cyberspace. You see back in college, whenever someone turns a year older, the group always plan out of something. It may be a very resourceful and cute greeting card, or the “surprise the celebrant” gimik. In my case, I got a dozen of roses on my freshman year, a shout out in the DC radio when I turned 19, a cake and a sim card (my fone got lost) on my 20th bday and the never ending greeting cards in my senior year. Now that we graduated, they still remembered my day and sent me their sweet greetings via FB or plurk . Nagreet siguro sila dahil nakita nila na b-day ko sa FB bday reminder.. haha waaa. but still, matsalam gyapun. Love yu fellow journalts, dibcum pips, agtang girls, ADdU friends, hiskul pips.

Greetings from new people. Now that im working, I got to receive greetings with my colleagues in the office. It was kinda cool.. More greetings,twice the fun.. haha..

Lunch prepared by my grandmama. Some people, when they get old, prefer to unwind the whole time. But not for my Lola, when she found out that it was my bday, she prepared delicious foods. I kind of missed that from her because she wasn’t able to do those stuff when her diabetes worsened.

Candelaria. After my work, I went to the church and to my surprise, there were so many candles in the place. It was only then I found out that Febraury 2 is actually the day where people commemorates Jesus as the light of the world. Thus, according to the priest, people who were born on Feb. 2 should be named Candelaria. So… uhmm Hi, my name is Candelaria Morden Egnar.. that would be a BIG no-no.. haha.. Im happy with my name thank you. But thank you Lord.

Jamming and Videoke Session: So how did i really end my bday? well my erpat surprised me with a jamming session. and so we sang, we laughed and some us got wasted. Haha…

though it was not that bonggaleycious but knowing that all the people i love remembered me on my bday,it really made a difference. matsala guys, sa uulitin :)

I could barely remember when I was still in high school, before my aunt died of pneumonia; I opened up something to her about my problem in few of my classmates’ backstabbing. She told me that if a certain person does that, the best thing to do is to divert my attention to something else and should never put any attention on what that person said. What she said to me absorbed in my head until I entered the real world. Now that Ive grown up, my mum kinda repeated what she said coz I was having problems again but she said it in another perspective. She said that in every organization, there’s always a person or even a group of people who will pull you down or make you feel bad. and the same thing that my late aunt said to me, my um said that I should never be affected of what they say. She added that I should focus more on my job and should not let them bring me down.

They’re right. Sometimes life gives you challenges or problems that will test your patience and skills. Challenges that will mold you to be a better person. Challenges that either you will make or break. In my case, il definitely be more patient and be more optimistic…I will surpass this and make it.

happy new year guys!! :D new year, lots of things to do.. woohoo and also new tasks.
For instance, my partner in the office asked me to do a design for the Local Project MOntioring Committee evaluation this coming Tuesday. Im a bit nervous, i mean hellooo, i edit and design but just for fun but this was some serious stuff. Despite of the slight pesimism and should i say fear,i took the task and challenged myself.

ok the conceptualizing part is for me, the most difficult step. In thesis, i think this is the introduction part, the part where you have to think on what to put on your paper or in my case, what to put on the design. Thankfully after 2 hours, with God's grace, i was able to think of a concept.

The next stage, the implementation part or bringing the idea on the table. it was hard but not that difficult compared to the first part. so there i was facing the computer for a day (cut me some slack ok, im an amateur :D ).


My colleagues gave some tips to make it better which is ok (criticisms help :D ).

and voila, after a day and a half of brainstorming, monitor staring, and filling some changes, i've finished the design and here it is.